While visiting teaching our ward choir director yesterday, I mentioned that I want to put henna in my hair to make it red but that I wanted to wait till after I sang with the choir in church on Sunday. My partner, who is the most faithful, beautiful, awesome woman I know, said “You’re such a rebel.” I went on to explain that it’s more of an auburn red not like this:
Although, what I didn’t reveal was that part of me fantasizes about doing something like this to my hair or getting a daisy tattoo on my hip. Part of me still wants to own and wear a pair of combat boots. I still love to listen to The Cure and can’t get enough of Modest Mouse these days.
I believe my companion was only joking but her comment still brought to mind a conference talk I had been listening to because I know the message was for me. Elder Patrick Kearnon spoke of laying down our weapons of rebellion like the Anit-Nephi-Lehies laid down their weapons of war.
Brethren, we find healing and relief only when we bring ourselves to the feet of the Great Physician, our Savior, Jesus Christ. We must lay down our weapons of rebellion (and we each know what they are). We must lay down our sin, vanity, and pride. We must give up our desires to follow the world and to be respected and lauded by the world. We must cease fighting against God and instead give our whole hearts to Him, holding nothing back. Then He can heal us. Then He can cleanse us from the venomous sting of sin.
I can say that I try to faithfully live the gospel according to the quintessential Sunday School answers. But I know what my weapons of rebellion are. I know that some of the music I listen to, movies and shows I watch would not be considered appropriate. And I know my choice of irreverent comedy/news is not exactly conducive to the spirit.
I hope that as I mature I will become more faithful and less rebellious. But until then, are combat boots really that big of a deal?