So this is my final project for Basic Photography I. I’m so nervous about what my grade is going to be. It will count for 33% of my total grade.
I started out with the idea of taking portraits of our kids, and maybe Aaron & I, and then adding a word that describes each of us. I even enlisted the help of friends and family on Facebook for words they think of when they think of us. That ended up being a lot of fun, hearing how other people see us.
My first roll was of the kids but I only really liked one of Forest and kind of liked the one I posted of Ethan two weeks ago. Not to mention that it had been quite a task, getting that roll shot. With the exception of Hattie, my kids do not enjoy me pointing the camera at them. They do not usually cooperate very well. And I’m not very good at portraits yet so it’s not really very enjoyable for me either. I was very disappointed and discouraged. I decided to borrow a camera that I could actually focus, hoping that would help. My Petri does not have an accurate way to focus. So I shot a second roll of the kids only to discover that the film had never caught and never advanced. No shots. Oy!!!!! (Yes, that word and the circumstances deserve that many exclamation marks.)
Our lab tech, Margaret, pulled the film back out of the canister for me so that I could still use it and then showed me how the particular camera I had can be a little tricky when you load the film. I left the lab very nervous about losing so much time and wondering when I was going to get to shoot the kids some more. By the time they get home from school the sun is going down and lighting is not good. And it was freezing, literally. It had started to snow on my way to school that morning so there was a beautiful blanket of snow by the time I left, and more coming down. This also meant that the buses were not running through the college so I had to walk up to the main road. Not a long walk and I was actually happy to have a chance to try to calm my nerves.
As I left I had the thought, “why am I putting myself through this torture?!” Portraits are not my strong suit. I so much more enjoy shooting nature, up close and personal, or abstract things on the street, or strangers doing their thing. So I said screw it, I’m doing what I should have done from the beginning. I’m shooting these here dead plants that are begging for attention. Oh, and look, they have little snow hats on them. Yes.
I immediately felt relief wash over me. The tension, the discouragement, the feeling of inadequacy, all gone. It felt so good. Then to add to that happy feeling of doing what I really enjoy, I realized that I would be walking straight for the Temple. The feeling of joy turned to an overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I had plenty of time before I had to be home so I walked over to the Temple. Being a Monday, it was closed, add the blanket of snow and the grounds were so incredibly peaceful. I stood there and cried over how the previous circumstances had all led me to this. They had all ended up being a wonderful blessing.
So that is how I remembered who I was in the snow.
**Thank you to everyone who sent me their words.**