Warning, contains graphic images!! Well, just one.

Today I am so grateful for my baby girl!!!  I will never forget the day we had our first ultrasound with Hattie.  I was pretty far along because we had moved up to WA in June and it took me a month or two to find a mid-wife.  We drove to Federal Way assuming we would be told we were having another boy, and we were OK with that.  We knew how to deal with boys, even though every one of them is different there’s this common thread of loud noises, rough play and dirt caked faces.  We liked our boy house.

When the technician told us the baby was a girl… Silence!  I remember the look on her face, like she thought she was giving good news but then we weren’t responding with the joy she expected.  We had to explain that we were pretty surprised.

The ride home was more silence.  We were in shock.  We had no clue how to raise a girl or how she would fit into our boy house.  Over the next few months the idea of a little girl started to become a welcome one, still nervous and scared but the excitement began to build.  Then the day came.  November 8th 2004 at just about 9:00 PM  Hattie Kay Dean was born.  Aaron and I both fell head over heals the minute we saw her.  I knew immediately I had finally found my best girl friend.  Aaron later told me, “don’t be jealous but I’ve fallen in love.”

At some point during labor the shirt had to come off.  All I remember is the feel of it was driving me absolutely crazy!!!!

We brought her home early the next morning and got the boys up to see her.
hayhat forhat

ethanhat2 grayhat2
I love these pictures.  Hayden and Forest were so peaceful and quiet, just amazed that they finally had a baby sister.  Ethan was so happy and well, Grayson didn’t know what to think.

Aaron and I never really discussed having another baby till a few months ago.  We both agree that we feel done.  I would have babies forever if I could, but the issues of raising ADD children can be overwhelming.  I feel like my cup runneth over.

It’s a weird feeling to be out of the baby group at church.  A few weeks ago I went to a baby shower for a friend in our ward.  At one point I realized that most of the ladies there had babies, a couple hadn’t started having babies yet or weren’t married but I was the only one past the baby stage of my life.  For a moment or two I felt completely out of place.

The more I think about it though, the better I feel.  I’m glad to be at a new stage in life.  I’m enjoying the different phases my kids are in.  I’m happy to not have a baby in tow.  I’m getting more and more excited of having all five kids in school and having the opportunity to finally go to college.  I’m ok with getting older and no longer being a baby making machine.  :)

But I am so thankful for all my children, for the experience of giving birth to each one of them, for having four busy, loud, crazy boys to play with and now a sweet, independent, bossy little girl to hang out with.  I’m grateful to be a mother.  And I’m grateful for my Hattie Girl.

Last.fm- Iron & Wine- Lovesong of the Buzzard


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