emotion

i just about missed this week’s shot as well.  but today provided the perfect opportunity.

the last two days have been a little bit of and emotional roller-coaster.  aaron came home about 2 hours early from work yesterday because he had been “escorted from the building.”  he made a seemingly small mistake that nintendo has zero tolerance for.  when he left for lunch he forgot to eject the rom that he was testing in the wii and therefore didn’t check it back in.  when he came back they said, “see ya.”  eeeek!!!  he sat down and wrote an apology email, hoping he would be one of the very few and very far between who get a second chance.

he and the boys left for the father and son’s campout.  hattie and i had a blast together while the boys were gone.  we walked over to a store called paint away! at redmond town center.  we painted a pink kitty with purple ears, then had hot chocolates at starbucks, bought her a new pair of sunday sandles and came back home to do pedicures and watch stranger than fiction.  (don’t worry the one bad word was soft enough and at a point where she was talking and i skipped as soon as ana started kissing harold, missing the bedroom scene.)  we had such a great time, i had almost forgotten about aaron’s problem.  i went to bed and prayed that nintendo would show some mercy!!!

this morning thane called to let me know that he would be shipping out either tonight or tomorrow morning for germany and then to kuwait.  we are not an emotional or affectionate family, so we were both showing a strong face telling each other “i’ll email now and then, take care and i love you.”  but i could feel my throat and chest getting tight as we talked, and it sounded like his was too.

the boys came home and told us all about the great time they had.  i had picked them up a stack of scary story books from the library so they stayed up till 2am reading those.  then after breakfast they played games all morning, boxing, wrestling, dodge ball, tug-o-war, capture the flag.  ethan whooped on several boys much bigger than him in wresting and boxing but got smacked in the face with a ball playing dodge ball, by one of the bishop’s counselors. 

then aaron told me that nintendo had officially let him go yesterday afternoon.  i spent the rest of the day thinking about what i had read a couple of weeks ago when preparing for my talk on adversity.

in the midst of trying really hard not to wallow in self-pity i realized today was the 6th of june.  six years ago my dad passed away from pneumonia after three years of dementia brought on by parkinson’s disease.  it was heart breaking but at the time a relief to know that he was whole again, to know that the next time i saw him he would remember who i was.

when it happened, aaron was  in germany waiting to get home after being deployed to kuwait.  we were living about four hours from home and i had everything ready to leave the next morning to go home to see my dad.  if i remember correctly, he passed during the night and mom called me early the next morning.  i knew exactly what the call was as soon as it rang.  i’ve felt guilty the past six years for not being there when it happened.  it was so hard though to see him towards the end.  i just wanted to remember him laughing and joking and grabbing me around the waist as i walked by his recliner so he could tickle me until i squirmed off his lap.

for the first couple of years after he died it was hard to remember the healthy him.  but not now.  now i see him shuffling around with a grin on his face, poking us all in the ribs, joking around and giggling, taking kuryn to get ice cream, watching rodeos with hayden,  hanging out with uncle john and lonny, taking us camping or for drives up on the mountain, go to scout meetings dressed in his scout uniform with his oa sash, wrestling with odie (his pitbull) on the trampoline, sitting on the swing with granny in her front yard, teaching me how to change the oil in my car…  i could go on and on.

i miss my dad incredibly but i take comfort in the knowledge that he still lives, that he is busy doing the Lord’s work and that i will get to see him again someday.

 

Week 23-  52 1/2 weeks of 2009- emotion